Who said low carb diets ever meant no carb??

A little information if often a dangerous thing... and many people trying low carb diets failed miserably in the long-run because they took the concept to its extreme figuring that if low-carb diets were good, then no-carb diets must be better? Wrong!

One of the primary reasons why low carb diets are so successful for a lot of people is that it forces them to remove the nutrient-deficient junk food from their daily food intake. In the last 20 years the average North American diet has become so polluted with refined foods, sugars, and unhealthy fats that the average American is now clinically obese!

Low carb diets owe their success to common sense more that any diet revelation. When was it ever acceptable to consume donuts, soda pop, Big Macs, deep-fried French fries and pizza on a daily basis? As peoples lives became busier the advent of fast food and convenience food grew by leaps and bounds. This was all very convenient for busy families trying to get food on the dinner table in time, but only now are we realizing the true cost of this convenience.

Processed and refined foods alter foods from their natural complex state, grinding them into fine powders that are easier to handle, store, preserve, and use in the manufacturing process. The unintended consequence of this refining process is that it makes it much easier for your body to absorb the carbohydrate glycogen energy from these foods, and creates large spikes in blood glucose levels. This in turn puts additional strain and stress on your bodys internal processes as they try to compensate for these glucose spikes, and in the process tells you body to store the energy as additional fat! In general, carbohydrates that are consumed in their natural state take longer to breakdown in your body, and the glucose release is dampened, leading to lower overall blood glucose levels.

The success of low carb diets lies more in the fact that it forces you to eliminate most refined carbohydrates, to eat foods in their natural state, and eat foods that have a low caloric density, which ultimately forces you to consume less calories!

If youd like more ideas on how to incorporate delicious low carb foods into your lifestyle you can search the recipe database at:
http://www.mylowcarbdietrecipes.com/myrecipes.asp

S.A. Smith is a freelance writer, correspondent, and contributing editor of My Low Carb Diet Recipes resource site and can be reached at http://www.mylowcarbdietrecipes.com

One afternoon, many years ago, I went to pick up my mother from work. I got there a little early so I parked the car by the curb, across the street from where she worked, and waited for her.

As I looked outside the car window to my right, there was a small park where I saw a little boy, around one and a half to two years old, running freely on the grass as his mother watched from a short distance. The boy had a big smile on his face as if he had just been set free from some sort of prison. The boy would then fall to the grass, get up, and without hesitation or without looking back at his mother, run as fast as he could, again, still with a smile on his face, as if nothing had happened.

At that moment, I thought to myself, Why arent most adults this way? Most adults, when they fall down (figuratively speaking), make a big deal out of it and dont even make a second attempt. They would be so embarrassed that someone saw them fall that they would not try again. Or, because they fell, they would justify to themselves that theyre just not cut out for it. They would end up too afraid to attempt again for fear of failure.

However, with kids (especially at an early age), when they fall down, they dont perceive their falling down as failure, but instead, they treat it as a learning experience (as just another result/outcome). They feel compelled to try and try again until they succeed. (The answer must be...they have not associated "falling down" with the word "failure" yet, thus they dont know how to feel the state which accompanies failure. As a result, they are not disempowered in any way. Plus, they probably think to themselves that its perfectly okay to fall down, that its not wrong to do so. In other words, they give themselves permission to make mistakes, subconsciously. Thus they remain empowered.)

While I was touched by the boys persistence, I was equally touched by the manner in which he ran. With each attempt, he looked so confident...so natural. No signs of fear, nervousness, or of being discouragedas if he didnt give a care about the world around him. His only aim was to run freely and to do it as effectively as he could. He was just being a childjust being himselfbeing completely in the moment. He was not looking for approval or was not worrying about whether someone was watching or not. He wasnt concerned about being judged. He didnt seem to be bothered by the fact that maybe someone would see him fall (as there were others in the park aside from him and his mother) and that it would be embarrassing if he did fall. No, all that mattered to him was to accomplish the task or activity at hand to the best of his ability. To run...and to feel the experience of running fully and freely.

I learned a lot from that observation and experience, and have successfully brought that lesson with me in my many pursuits in life. Since then, Ive always believed that in each of us is a little child with absolute courage. A child that has the ability to run freely (or express himself fully and freely)without a care for anything externalwithout a care for what people would say if he/she experiences a fall.

I believe that that courageous part of us, that courageous child within us all, will always be with us for as long as we live. We only need to allow it to emerge more fully. We only need to once again connect with that child within usand give that child permission to run freely, just like that boy in the park.

----------------------------------------------
Gabriel Daniels publishes Confidence & Courage Tips...To Help You Realize Your Dreams. For more tips, strategies, stories, quotes, and more...to empower and inspire you to take action...so you can get what you want out of life, visit his website at: http://confidencetips.blogspot.com
You are free to reprint this article in your ezine or newsletter, or on your website, as long as you include this resource boxand as long as the articles contents are not changed in any way. (For more details, please check the websites License Information section.)
----------------------------------------------

1. Prepare thoroughly.

Prepare the message of your speech thoroughly. Know exactly what it is you want to bring across to your audience...and why. Knowing the purpose of your speech will help focus and organize your thoughts, thus allowing you to be relaxed when it comes time to make your presentation.

In addition, others find it helpful to rehearse their presentation physically (or aloudas if they were actually giving out a presentation...the only difference is, they are speaking to an imaginary audience) before their presentation. While others prefer to rehearse mentally (visualization exercises). In fact, most or all peak performers (from speakers to athletes...you name it) perform visualization exercises before their actual performance. (This could mean days, weeks, months, or even years in advance depending on the type of performanceand these exercises are usually done on a daily or regular basis.) Use what works for you.

(For those who are not too familiar with the term visualization, which is sometimes called mental imagery or mental rehearsal, basically, what you do is you imagine in your mind's eye the kind of performance you would like to give...with as much detail as possible...and also, the kind of end result you would like from your performance. And it can be done with your eyes open or closed.
Note: Visualization exercises are much more effective and powerful when done in what is called associated mode [meaning, you are seeing your surroundings from inside your own bodyfor example, imagining the audience in front of you...imagining how receptive they are...while you are feeling confident and relaxed where you're standing...and so onand not watching yourself from a distance]...and with lots of intense and positive feelings. Even better when you can include as many of your five senses as possible in your visualizations.)

Of course, prepare what youre going to wear, as well as, the materials (ex. visual aids) you plan to use in your presentation. Also, if you need to get directions on how to get to the venue where youll be speaking, do this way ahead of time. That way, you will not feel rushed at the last minute.

The more prepared you are overall, the more relaxed you will be before and during your presentation.

(Of course, if its going to be impromptu or extemporaneous speaking, then just do your best to organize your thoughts as quickly as you can with whatever time youre given. Focus on your purpose for speaking. Ask yourself, Whats the message I want to convey? Why do I want to convey this message? And stay relaxed as much as possible. Youll learn more about how to do this in the information that follows.)

2. Wear something appropriate and comfortable for the occasion.

When you look good (or when you know you look good), you tend to feel good. When you are less self-conscious, you tend to be more at ease. Whether we admit it or not, the way we look somehow affects the way we feel.

Of course, dont forget proper grooming.

3. Be convinced that what you have to say matters.

Be convinced of the importance of your message. Doing this will put you at ease and will make you appear more confident (and above all, congruent).

In fact, do your best to speak only about things/topics you truly believe in or are passionate about. Your conviction and passion will naturally shine through (and applying Principle #9 below will help even more). This will make you much more credible to your audience. Remember, your listeners will only believe you if they first sense that you believe in what you are saying.

4. Put yourself in a confident state.

There are many ways to do this. One of the best ways that Ive found is to act as if you were already confident (thats if you feel youre not quite in the confident state yet). Walk and talk the way you would if you were already extremely confident.

Sometimes, it helps to ask yourself the following questions:

How would I feel right now if I were absolutely confident?

How would I breathe?

How would I stand?

How would I walk?

How would I talk?

...and so on.

Another excellent way would be for you to imagine a time in the past when you were completely confident...then bring that state to the present moment...and speak/present while in that state.

Ask yourself the following:

When, in the past, was I absolutely confident?

How did I breathe?

How did I stand?

How did I walk?

How did I talk?

...and so on.

(Its very important that when you ask these questions, and when you do these visualizations, you are not imagining yourself outside your body as if you were watching yourself as an actor/actress on a movie screen. You must be in your body...seeing things in the outside world from inside your own body.)

Also, when asking the last few questions (while imagining a past confident state you were in), all you need to do is imagine a time when you were absolutely confident...and it doesnt matter what you were doing at the time, as long as you were absolutely confident. It does not have to be a past speaking situation...although if you could remember a time, that would be great. (Your main goal is to bring that past, empowering, state into the present moment so that you will be in an empowered state to perform at your peak in the present moment.)

5. Keep your attention/focus away from yourself...at all costs.

In other words, avoid being self-conscious at all costsbecause self-consciousness is one of the biggest causes of nervousness. Focus instead on the message you want to bring across to your audience. Focus on why you are there...why you are speaking to them.

Also, avoid or interrupt any negative or disempowering internal dialogue. Immediately interrupt the pattern when you hear the negative voice inside of you saying things like: Oh-oh! Theyre all looking at you...checking you out...measuring you up...judging you...blah-blah-blah. Come up with an effective way to stop that negative voice in its tracks.

Sometimes, just ignoring it and immediately changing your focus works. At times, it may help to internally yell, STOP! or, STOP IT! ...and then immediately change focus. The key is to interrupt the pattern as soon as you catch it. Dont give the monster a chance to grow. Avoid giving it any power over you. Squash it while its little. Then change your focus immediately.

By the way, Im curious. I dont know if this has ever happened to you, but its happened to me quite a few times when I was in my teens. Youre just walking along, naturally, without a care in the world, and then someone comes along...someone you admire/like appears out of nowhere...and then you lose your natural walking rhythm or the way you walk feels out of sync (a very awkward feeling), all because, all of a sudden, you place your focus on yourself (or you become self-conscious). Has this ever happened to you?

Well, what I eventually learned later on was that, unconsciously, I was saying to myself , Oh boy, I better walk nicely because I want to give her the impression that Im cool. In other words, instead of just expressing the natural me, allowing the natural me to just shine through, thus allowing the way I walk to be natural, I ended up putting on a performance/show (because I was trying to prove something or trying to gain approval), and that negatively affected my natural walking rhythm.

6. Breathe naturally and in a relaxed manner.

In the beginning, you may need to monitor your breathing once in a while to make sure you are breathing naturallyand in a relaxed manner. (I say this because there are probably a lot of people out there who are not even aware of their breathing patternsespecially when under pressure...or when the heat is on. Besides, it only takes a second or two.)

You can usually tell if youre not breathing naturally, because when you are nervous, your stomach muscles either tend to tense up unnecessarily, or your breathing tends to be shallow/fast...or both. And as a result, you feel uncomfortablewhich is a disempowering state. And that's not beneficial to your performance.

After a while, though, you wont have to monitor your breathing as much. In fact, as time goes by, you will get used to breathing naturallyand in a relaxed mannereven under pressure.

In the beginning, it will help a lot if you could make a comparison between the way you breathe when youre relaxed and the way you breathe when youre tense or nervous. Be aware of the difference. (Meaning, whenever you catch yourself being tense or nervous, with your heart beating fast and everything, be aware of the way you breathe...then do the same when you catch yourself in a relaxed mood...for example, while talking to relatives or close friendspeople you are already very comfortable with.) Once you are more aware of the difference, you will naturally use what is more beneficial to you, more often, and unconsciously.

(Note: Although, in the previous section, I suggested not to be self-conscious, this awareness of your breathing patterns will not violate that principle. Remember, you will merely be doing this in the beginning until such time when you no longer need to do it as often...or at all. And when you do put your awareness on your breathing in the beginning, it's best to do it during a period of inactivity...ex. a pause between phrases or between making a point. If you feel you're in the flow while making a presentation, then you don't really need to monitor/check your breathing anymore. It means you're doing fine. Just move on with your presentation.)

7. Speak as if you were speaking to a close friend or loved one (in a conversational manner).

Look at individuals in your audience, eye to eye...as if you were conversing with them individually (as if you were sitting across the table/room from them). Talk directly to one person for a few seconds, then move on to someone else...and keep repeating this. In fact, when you do this, you will feel more relaxed because you will feel like you are talking to individuals (just like in a conversation) and not to a "group" of people. And not only will you appear very confident and relaxed, your audience will automatically feel comfortable and relaxed. As a result, they will be more receptive to your message. (Remember, confidence and being comfortable are contagious.)

(An excellent book that covers this principle more thoroughly is entitled You Are The Message by Roger Ailes. I highly recommend that you find a way to access it and read it. In fact, you can always try your local library, first, if they have it. That way, you won't have to spend anything. Another excellent book that is closely related, which I highly recommend you read, is entitled Youve Got To Be Believed To Be Heard: Reach The First Brain To Communicate In Business And In Life by Bert Decker.)

8. Always remind yourself that its okay to make mistakes.

Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Its perfectly okay. Youre only human. Even the highest achievers in the world make them. In fact, everybody makes them. (Make the decision ahead of time, before speaking in front of any group, that you will allow yourself to make mistakes...to look awkward or foolish.)

Basically, what Im suggesting is that you go out there and do your best, or give your all, while at the same time, know that you are willing to forgive yourself (and willing to continue to accept yourself) whatever the outcome may be. It does not make you a bad person or a fool if you make mistakes unintentionally. (If you do it intentionally, then thats a different story. Besides, who in their right mind would plan to make mistakes in advance?) Learn from your mistakes, then move on.

By giving yourself permission this way, you will become more relaxed. Why? Because what creates tension, stress, or nervousness in the first place is when a part of you is saying, You must be perfect. You must do this perfectly. You cant screw up no matter what happens or else people will see you as a failure. While another part of you just wants to naturally go with the flow...not giving a care for anything. This kind of inner conflict (between the different parts of you) is what causes tension, stress, or nervousness.

9. Express yourself fully and freely...with your whole being.

Let your conviction, enthusiasm, and passion show. Unleash them fully and freely. And let it be felt by your audience. (If it helps, you can imagine rays of light emanating from you, penetrating each of your audience members.) Avoid holding back. Just let go. When you do this, you will naturally become more confident.

When you are speaking from your very core, just allowing your natural feelings to flow outward, for some reason, you tend to forget about fear or nervousness. And doing this usually results in peak performances (being in the flow).

10. Be completely in the present momentin the here and now.

While you are speaking, keep your thoughts away from the past or future (since focusing on the past or future can create anxiety through the pouring in of negative thoughtsex. negative experiences associated with the past, or, the negative consequences that could possibly arise in the future). Also, avoid thinking about the outcome, as well as, your expectations of the outcome during your speech. Simply flow. Immerse yourself completely on what you are doing (in this case, speaking) in the present moment. This will help you greatly in performing at your peak. In fact, this is another quality possessed by peak performers.

11. Avoid the need to gain approval.

What do I mean by this? Because others might say, Well, Gabriel, what if I am trying to persuade the audience to accept my point of view, am I not trying to gain their approval?

My answer would be, Yes, naturally, that would be your ultimate goal if you were trying to persuade others. Your desired outcome would, of course, be for them to accept your argument because it will benefit both you and them in some way.

But Im talking more about your mental attitude or mindset while you are speakingwhich in turn affects your physiological state.

The mindset that says, Its okay if he/she rejects my argument. Thats his/her right. At least, I did my best to persuade him/her.

Or, the mindset that says: I accept the fact that not everyone will be persuaded to my point of view, and thats okay. At least, I did what I could.

When you are focused on trying to impress others (because of your need to gain approval), you will end up saying or doing things you really dont want to say or do (in other words, it will cause you to do things against your will) and this is what causes stress/anxiety. You will feel like you are betraying yourself (or going against what you believe to be true). And youll end up regretting it later.

What creates stress/anxiety is when your inner voice is saying, I must do this, or I must say this...or else they will think negatively of me.

Whatever you do, avoid going into a speaking situation with the following attitude or mindset: Please accept me. Please accept my ideas. I wont be able to handle it if you dont. Ill feel like a failure if you reject me or my ideas. Because if you possess that kind of attitude, even if you dont say those words outright, your audience will sense your lack of confidence (both in yourself and in your ideas) and your lack of self-esteem. Youll end up sabotaging your own efforts...and your performance will suffer...thus you will not be effective in fulfilling your objective of persuading your audience.

Instead, your attitude should be more like: I have something very valuable to offer you that I believe will highly benefit you. This is what youll gain/benefit if you accept my offer. And this is what youll lose out on (or this is the pain youll continue to experience) if you don't. The decision to accept or reject my offer is completely up to you. That is your right. And Ill respect your decision. As for me, Ill lose nothing if you reject my offer.

In other words, it is you who carries the key to the treasure chest. Since you are the one who has something valuable and beneficial to offer your audience, you shouldnt appear like youre begging for approval.

Besides, you need to be honest with yourself and accept the fact that you will not always win everyone to your point of view (consider yourself fortunate if you are able to do so). Of course, you would still do whatever it takes to try and persuade each audience member (if the objective of your presentation is to persuade), but realize that its perfectly okay if you dont. The ones who accept your message, or are moved by your message, are the ones destined to benefit. Dont worry about the rest who dont (in other words, dont make it a problemdont let it bother you). Maybe your message wasnt meant for them. Or the time is not right for them to receive it. Maybe theyll be persuaded in the future when their circumstances change and they remember your speech. Who knows? Whatever the case may be, simply accept the outcome and move on.

Basically, you ought to be like a good teacher who tells his/her students what they need to hear, and not what they want to hear...and you would do it with the understanding that theyre free to walk away or reject your argument if that is what they choose to do.

12. Trust in the power of your mind (more specifically, your subconscious mind). Trust that it will deliver the right words at the right time.

Reinforce in your being the belief that your mind will deliver the right words at the right time. Meaning, if you are speaking without the aid of a written script (where something is read verbatim or word-for-word), like some do (others, like myself, prefer to just write down key words in logical progression to serve as reminders), avoid worrying about what youre going to say next. If you know your topic really well, your subconscious mind will produce the right words at the right time (especially if you went over the content of your speech many times prior to your presentation)...if you will only allow it...if you will only trust it. But you must be in the right state for this to work effectively.

You must be in a relaxed, confident, and trusting state. A state where you just know that the words will come. (Of course, it helps greatly if you are speaking about a topic you are passionate about.)

You must trust in your minds ability to deliver. The more you do this, the more your mind will automatically deliver when you need it to. For some reason, the subconscious mind likes to be trusted. The more you trust it, the more it wants to be worthy of that trust. In other words, it will find ways to justify that you are right in trusting it. And if you dont trust it, it will also find ways to justify that you are right in not trusting it.

Actually, there may be times when your mind just goes blank (for a second or two), for some reason, and you dont remember the word/term you wish to use in a sentence. In a case like that, just stay relaxed and wait patiently. Just wait in a relaxed and expectant state...and eventually, the right word will come. (Whatever you do, avoid panicking. The more anxious you are, the harder it will be to remember the right word. Remember, the less you trust your mind, the less it will want to deliver.)

Besides, if you stay calm, most of the time, people wont even notice that theres something wrong. Theyll think it was just a normal pause, or you did it on purpose for effect. In other words, the flow of your presentation will move smoothly without interruption. And you will continue to be perceived as being in charge of the situation.

Remember this: The more you trust your mind, the more it will deliver. And the more your mind delivers, the more confident you will become in speaking situations.

13. Decide in advance to tell the truth no matter what.

Of course, this is nothing new. You already know that when you are telling the truth, you are much more relaxed or at ease. Why? Simply because what you say and what you believe to be true are in harmony. Theres no conflict within.

Whereas, when you are lying, theres that voice inside of you saying, What if they can see through me and sense my dishonesty? Or, What if Im ever found out? (In fact, just "planning" to lie already makes one anxious or tense.) In other words, it puts you in a disempowering or unresourceful state. And it negatively affects your performance. Worse, you will lose your audiences trust once they sense you are not telling the truth (they will somehow sense it, subconsciously). And when that happens, it will be all over. Once your credibility goes, everything else goes.

14. Trust that you can handle whatever comes your way.

This must be one of the biggest and most important lessons Ive learned about effective speaking/presenting. In fact, every great speaker/presenter does it, whether consciously or unconsciously.

If youll only observe the most relaxed and effective speakers/presenters (ex. TV personalities or talk show hosts), you will find that they have this quality. Theyll say or do the wrong things at times and theyll just simply laugh it off or make a joke out of it. And then theyll proceed as if nothing happened. They are able to consistently do this because they have simply learned to trust in their ability to handle whatever comes their way.

By mastering this principle, you can go very far as a speaker/presenter. In fact, if you happen to come short in other areas, but you have this quality, youll be able to face any unexpected event with a sense of calm (while others would panic in the same situation). In fact, this does not only apply to speaking/presenting, but to life as a whole.

Basically, you are saying to yourself, No matter what happens, I know I can handle it. If I make a mistake, so what? Its not the end of the world. Besides, I permit myself to make mistakes. Ill learn from this experience and move on. (Remember: The meaning of any event is the meaning you give it. Also, nothing has any power over you except the power you give it.)

Or you might say, Whatever happens, Ill handle it. Ive done it many times before, so I can do it again. (There must be numerous events in your life, in the past, wherein things did not turn out exactly as you expectedand Im sure many of them were even events that made you feel devastated, hopeless, and helpless...as if it were the end of the worldbut still you were able to eventually handle them.)

Again, master this principle...and you will go very far as a speaker/presenter. Above all, you will have the strength and courage to tackle anything in life.

(An excellent book that covers this principle more thoroughly is Susan Jeffers best-selling book, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway. I highly suggest that you go find a way to access it and read it. Youll benefit in many ways.)

15. Apply the I dont care or It doesnt matter attitude. (Or, the So what? or Whatever happens, happens attitude.)

This is another very powerful principle (and its closely related to the previous onePrinciple #14). In fact, dont take my word for it. Just like all the other principles in this article, apply it and discover just how powerful it is. And once youve benefited from it, use it more often. (Again, this principle applies to many situations in life and not only to speaking.)

Does this mean that you dont actually care about the outcome? Of course not. Otherwise, you wouldnt be wasting your time taking the steps leading to that desired outcome in the first place.

Just like what weve covered in some of the previous sections (ex. Principle #12), it is the state that results from these principles that you are after.

Basically, once youve determined your desired outcome, let it go. Surrender it completely to God. Think of something else. You have no control over the outcome anyway, so just work on what you can control.

In other words, if there are any thoughts that are trying to scare or hinder you, by giving you negative pictures of what could happen, because of your decision to pursue a certain idea, just say, I dont care. (And mean itlike you really dont care.) Then immediately change focus.

What you are basically saying is, I dont care if that happens. I can handle it.

Or, It doesnt matter. I can handle it.

Or, So what? Ill handle it anyway.

Or, Whatever happens, happens. Ill handle it anyway.

When you do this, you are basically telling the negative voice inside you, Leave me alone. Stop wasting my time. You wont succeed in convincing me to stop pursuing what I want because I'm already certain that no matter what happens, I'll be able to handle it. Basically, you are refusing to give the negative voice any power over you.

Again, your main goal in all of this is to access an empowering state so you can be highly effective in the present moment. And this mental attitude or mindset will help you access that type of state.

16. Speak as often as possible (while applying all the principles youve learned in this article).

Consciously seek ways to speak in front of others. Take advantage of every opportunity to express your thoughts to others (whether it be one-on-one or a group setting)while applying the principles youve learnedand your confidence level will skyrocket. In fact, as time goes by, speaking in front of others will feel more and more comfortable and natural to you.

With constant practice, you gain more mastery. And as you gain more mastery, your confidence grows.

----------------------------------------------
Gabriel Daniels publishes Confidence & Courage Tips...To Help You Realize Your Dreams. For more tips, strategies, stories, quotes, and more...to empower and inspire you to take action...so you can get what you want out of life, visit his website at: http://confidencetips.blogspot.com You are free to reprint this article in your ezine or newsletter, or on your website, as long as you include this resource boxand as long as the articles contents are not changed in any way. (For more details, please check the websites License Information section.) ----------------------------------------------

We have all heard the stories about movie stars who have off balance people stalking them, hounding them, and trying to break into their homes. But what about you and I and the times we have been concerned or afraid that someone is trying to shadow us or know of someone who has been stalked?

Stalking is downright harassment or threatening someone in a way that is annoying and continued. It can cause you emotional or physical fear, none of which is related to you or the person you are. Usually the stalking begins when at least one person thinks there has been a relationship. You may not have known you were supposed to have a relationship with a certain person but that person thinks one existed. Nevertheless, you are faced with dealing with someone who knows where you are and knows how to get to you.

You fear for your safety because you know you are under surveillance. You can experience this where you live, where you work, and anywhere else you are. The stalker can haunt you in person or on the phone or even through the internet. The goal is to keep you off balance, never knowing when little annoyances might turn into deadly circumstances. You may never see the stalkers face or you may see this face everywhere you turn.

Here are signs you or someone you care about is being stalked:

You are being followed.
You receive repeated phone calls.
You learn that you are being videotaped.
Your phone is bugged with listening devices.
You learn you are being investigated.
You learn someone is going through your garbage.
People you know are being asked about you.
Your property is vandalized.
You are made to fear that your family or pets will be hurt.
You become aware that everything you do is being tracked.
You tell the person not to call but it continues.
You feel frightened when you see or hear from this person.
You find spying devices on your computer.
You receive pornography you have not requested.
` Other people are aware you are being followed.
Other people are annoyed they are inconvenienced by this.
People avoid you to avoid the stalker.
There is always an implication that things can get worse.

Ignoring this behavior does not make it go away.

Here are some facts you should know about stalkers:

Stalking can always turn into violence.
Verbal threats can become physical threats.
Women stalkers are as violent as male stalkers.
People around you are at risk of being hurt as well.
Police do not tend to take these complaints seriously.

What can you do to handle this problem?

1. If you are dealing with a nutcase out of the blue who decided for whatever reason that you have been insulting and need to be punished, get away as quickly as you can. Do not confront or antagonize. If you are screamed at or gestured at, look away. Do not be in any way threatening yourself. Let your pride go. You could really get hurt. If someone cuts in front of you in traffic, just ignore it. Dont allow the situation to escalate and get even worse. Retreat and live to drive another day.

2. When it is someone who lives around you, do everything you can to avoid a confrontation. I have seen people who get into wars over the barking neighbors dog and the car parked in the wrong spot. Refuse to be part of the Hatfield and McCoys feud. If you avoid and retreat and the neighbor is still a problem, consult and complain to the police and get a written record of your complaint. Sometimes this is enough to cool things down.

3. When it is someone who thinks there is a romantic link between the two of you, there is an attempt to control you. They think that shadowing you will keep you in line. These stalkers are master manipulators and have done this many times before. They have already learned what they can get away with and not be thrown in jail. They know all the ins and outs that you never even heard of. This is a situation when you cannot handle it yourself.

So what do you do if you or someone you care about is being stalked?

Go to the police. Make them take this seriously. Dont think you can handle this yourself. You dont have the time and energy or resources to deal with this problem. You have been studied and researched and you are vulnerable. Stalkers think they can manipulate the law but they usually do not want to have to deal with the police. If you report them, they will leave you alone and go on to someone else.

Contact an attorney. Its going to cost you but it would be better to spend money on this than have to pay medical bills, or worse.

Document all harassment by recordings, caller ID, saving e mails, etc. If you have to prosecute you will have to have proof. Keep records of times you know you are being followed and watched. If you need a restraining order, you will need to show documentation. Do what you have to in order to put the stalker off your doorstep.

Take good care of yourself during this process. It is very draining and saps your energy.
But when you let this happen, the stalker is winning. Do what is necessary to take back your
life and get the stalker moving on down the line. You do not deserve to live like a hunted
animal, running from the hunter.

http://www.StressRelief911.com